This was supposed to be published in June 2011 ! Looking back.. I must have been feeling really shitty back then! Tsk tsk tsk…
“Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts…”
— Robert Fulghum
Probably that is the only explanation.
I am very tired of being accused of things that does not even exist (that is what I think). Maybe people just like to imagine things that are not there so that they can feel better. It is a good thing that I have come to terms that things cannot be changed no matter what, or else I think I would be very unhappy (which could in turn mean I could have a grumpy baby)
I used to wonder if what I am being accused of is true back like 1 year back but then I realized that there is no point in wondering since it means there will be no end.
Here’s what I believe – each & every human being is a thinking individual. And decisions were made by our own choices. The choices were always made based on the advantages that one can get at that particular time based on the circumstances and never ever because of the disadvantages. So if one chooses to stay on & be away from the homeland – regardless of whatever the evil step-sisters does (although it is hard to imagine what could actually be done when the proximity & communication is almost non-existence), I am sure it is because one has thought through the advantages of staying on & be with the person they love there – and really not because of ‘getting away’ from the evil siblings.
With that believe, I am at ease even with the constant blaming lectures & finger pointing sessions that I keep getting eventhough as far as I have remembered, I hardly had any major interaction to ‘create’ unhappiness.
So .. whatever lah. Being the accused or not, I really don’t think I am that ‘great’ an influence to create such big ‘action’ on staying away – sometimes I think I am being given too much credit for something I am not. I really am just a very average ordinary being with very little influencing skills.
After mulling over ‘not enough’ time for the longest time – I finally get that it is just that ONE (1) hour that made such a big difference.
It is amazing by just leaving on time – ie 5 pm from work so that I could get home, do a quick cook up for dinner (myself & my dog) , mop the house, fold the clothes, have dinner & shower before I go pick Relm up from babysitter ..And I am very happy that I even get to have at least 45 mins of social cum play time with Relm before she goes to sleep. AND even get my own private thinking / working time before I go to bed.
So my WOW # 1 of the year is turning out to be a wonderful experience for me..
must must must keep it up !!
If we did not have such a thing as a NEW year (be it Lunar,Muslims,Gregorian Calendar etc), I think the human race would really go crazy.
As I prepared for the year end & as preparing for the New Year (never mind the ‘scary’ predictions of the year) – one can’t help but feel renewed with hope & aspirations. Of course – thank goodness there are only 12 months – can’t imagine it is longer but then again if it is shorter (like the Planet Mercury – a year is only 88 Earth Days) – it will be overkill too.
Can’t think of a better description for the title cos I feel the expectations of a New year is really on our mind / mental. If one think about it, you stay go one with your usual routine after the celebrations isn’t it ? But what the New Year does give is giving us another chance to make a change for the better. Make ones review our past errors & provide for corrections, try new things, meet new people!
Its a little late for the Lunar New Year wish to my limited readers of this blog.. but heck …
HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR… May This year be a prosperous, fruitful & filled with happiness !!
Will not do an ensemble of 2011 since the only thing I would want to forever remember would only be Relm’s birth. The rest of the year are not worth my brain my memory to store on.
Predictions says 2012 will be a difficult with big changes year for me. Suggested that I travel more, ‘let go’ more, or even shift away.
Of course I would be lying if I said I didn’t mind but I guess one just got to be more positive about it. After all, without challenges one can’t progress. Major progress always come amid chaos.
So.. hello 2012 , like it or not, you are not a choice but a given.. so I will accept you graciously (i guess?)
It is not without its difficulties (like the time to get ready & the amount of things that we gotta bring about) of course. At least I found out that Relm has taken a ‘liking’ to certain type of bottle. Thank goodness I brought her preferred one with us on this trip. Oh yes.. I also learnt that it is VERY important to stay in a good hotel.. cos the baby KNOWs it, & I found that the ‘performance’ of the baby seems to correlate with the # of stars in the hotels we stayed in.
And here’s our first picture at our first holiday together! (can’t wait for next year’s trip)
I couldn’t have imagine that one of the worries I would have is Relm not pooping enough. I would have thought that I would have been happy cos I just need to do less diaper change with the less poop.. but no.. I am worried. It is funny how the reassurances from friends, www information & even from the doctor does not seem to reassure me still. I guess one can’t change one’s perception on the ‘right’ amount of times that one should poo that easily.
Ok.. I am a paranoid. Relm is really just a baby but yes.. I am worried that she will not heed her parents’ advice. And I finally get to watch “TAKEN” (a 2008 movie) – thanks to Channel 5 & Michael being at home early – so I could watch the movie in peace at home. I thought it is an ‘educational’ movie to be seen by teenagers.. Of course – Relm is not having a hero of a father or a mother who is capable of what Liam Neeson’s stunts as in the movie which makes it even more important that I need to get her to see this movie when she’s 15.
Trailer:-
If you don’t understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. ~Linda Sunshine
I should be counting my blessing. I have sisters that I could talk to & count on. I mean they are not perfect, each got their own weird thing going on (including me) but still they are like ‘yours’ to keep no matter what. Just a few words of assurance makes one feel so much better. I am not saying it is all rosy & nice all the time, we all have our big fights & what not but somehow like Linda Sunshine says.. its hard to understand but still is so natural.
This is of course going to be a musing of crap. I mean – how could one be missing what one do not have right? But the thing is – i actually do. Of course I am sure that I am just missing what I imagined what would have been still… I am missing what I do not have.
This was supposed to be published on Sept 15th.. for some reason – maybe I was missing too much – that I didn’t click the ‘publish’ button.
