This was supposed to be published in June 2011 ! Looking back.. I must have been feeling really shitty back then! Tsk tsk tsk…
“Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts…”
— Robert Fulghum
Probably that is the only explanation.
I am very tired of being accused of things that does not even exist (that is what I think). Maybe people just like to imagine things that are not there so that they can feel better. It is a good thing that I have come to terms that things cannot be changed no matter what, or else I think I would be very unhappy (which could in turn mean I could have a grumpy baby)
I used to wonder if what I am being accused of is true back like 1 year back but then I realized that there is no point in wondering since it means there will be no end.
Here’s what I believe – each & every human being is a thinking individual. And decisions were made by our own choices. The choices were always made based on the advantages that one can get at that particular time based on the circumstances and never ever because of the disadvantages. So if one chooses to stay on & be away from the homeland – regardless of whatever the evil step-sisters does (although it is hard to imagine what could actually be done when the proximity & communication is almost non-existence), I am sure it is because one has thought through the advantages of staying on & be with the person they love there – and really not because of ‘getting away’ from the evil siblings.
With that believe, I am at ease even with the constant blaming lectures & finger pointing sessions that I keep getting eventhough as far as I have remembered, I hardly had any major interaction to ‘create’ unhappiness.
So .. whatever lah. Being the accused or not, I really don’t think I am that ‘great’ an influence to create such big ‘action’ on staying away – sometimes I think I am being given too much credit for something I am not. I really am just a very average ordinary being with very little influencing skills.
After mulling over ‘not enough’ time for the longest time – I finally get that it is just that ONE (1) hour that made such a big difference.
It is amazing by just leaving on time – ie 5 pm from work so that I could get home, do a quick cook up for dinner (myself & my dog) , mop the house, fold the clothes, have dinner & shower before I go pick Relm up from babysitter ..And I am very happy that I even get to have at least 45 mins of social cum play time with Relm before she goes to sleep. AND even get my own private thinking / working time before I go to bed.
So my WOW # 1 of the year is turning out to be a wonderful experience for me..
must must must keep it up !!
